I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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