I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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