Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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