Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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