For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
