some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
