your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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