Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
