He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
