i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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