Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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