Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
