Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
