we're chasing vodka with high fives
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
