It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
