im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
