I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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