the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today