I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.