WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction