If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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