after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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