Define "chronic" masturbator.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
