Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
