Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it's like heaven, but drunker
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
