omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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