About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
