This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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