Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
