just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
