I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
