If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
