just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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