well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize