Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Is it penis luge time yet?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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