I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
