Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
