Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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