so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
