remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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