I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
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He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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