Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize