I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
