don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
