i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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