It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
