Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
After tacos, we're chasing women.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
