Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
