wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
