Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize