Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I could fuck to npr.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
