giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
