I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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