at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize