I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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