I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
