Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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