There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
