Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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