Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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