That's intense
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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