White coat. Heels.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you inspire me to be a worse person
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
