i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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