you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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