Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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